Sunday, January 31, 2010

Over Haul

So I completely hate the fat that I don't write on here as much as I use to. After my mother so crudely made it known to me that she found my blog (after googling me for her "scrapbook") and proceeded in criticizing me on the things that I've done, I kind of got frightened away. While, yes, my blog is public and it not very difficult to find, I still feel as if a line has been crossed. The idea of my mother googling my is fairly weird. I don't care why she was doing it. If my mother wanted to scrapbook certain things about me, when didn't she just ask for them? There isn't really that much about me on the internet.

But whatever, she found my blog and decided to read it. Fine. What I don't understand is why she needed to bring it up to me, especially the way that she did. The gist of what happened is I was going to be going on a date and she mentioned that she hoped he didn't think that I was a virgin (I had never told my mother that I had had sex) and then condescendingly asked why I had slept with one particular person. I don't shit on her for having slept with my father therefore she has no room to talk about me and who I choose to sleep with.

So I've stayed away for the most part with a post hear and there. Even though the initial weirdness dissipated, I had no gotten out of the habit and just could get in to writing. But I want to come back. I miss posting and I find that it helps a lot in getting my thoughts out into the universe. Here's hoping the I'm here to stay.

One of the things I'm hoping to do with this blog, while still have the random comment about my general life. I hope to be able to find a specific purpose for this blog and stick to it. My blog has had no direction and I feel that it really needs one. So I'll probably be trying out different things to see where it fits.

In other news, will I be starting my blog back up, I will also working on my overall being: physically, mentally, spiritually. I've never ever really been happy with myself for one reason or another. Always one thing or another. So, instead of just being constantly unhappy I'm goig to work bit by bit on making me a better me in order to make me a happy me.