Monday, March 30, 2009

Maybe its time

So I bought  fresh pack of Blacks today and not 4 hours later I dropped them out of my pocket while biking and then got ran over by a car. It might be a sign to stop smoking.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

alpha

I bare my throat to you
An act of submission
A very rare form
But you don't even nip
To show your dominance
You just walk away
As I slink back wounded
From the wound that isn't there

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Oh wine

An Irish priest is driving down to  New York  and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .   The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. 

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I do hate being up a 5am

It reminds me of bad times. Its funny how bad events can shape the way you think for the rest of your life. So many things I will regret doing or not doing just because of one thing that happened in your life.

Monday, March 16, 2009

This was on my Philosophy of Sex & Love final exam

“He or she who is the victim of passion and the slave of pleasure will desire to make his or her beloved as agreeable to himself as possible. . . . The lover may pray, entreat, supplicate, swear, lie on a mat at the door, and endure a slavery worse than that of any slave.”

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Distracted

I'm so distracted from what I need to do its ridiculous. I have a take home test for Sex and Love due tomorrow, my final cut of the Poetry Brothel due Tuesday, filming for Directing due Thursday and filming for Lighting thats needs to be done and handed in before the end of the week. None of these things have been worked on today which I wanted to do seeing as I had the day off from work and was going to make the best of it. Instead I made the effort to go get waxed and see my money dwindle and laid around all day smoking, drinking tea, and watching random shit on TV. It didn't even feel satisfactory to be lazy. I'm losing my purpose.

I've decided to make the commitment to look at life like I did before I came to college (or more so before Senior year of high school).  I was cold. I was heartless. I had friends but I spent the majority of my time alone but didn't feel lonely. I could cut people off without the small twinge of guilt. I was a machine. I was flawless in my lack of emotion. I don't like having a heart. I want to lock it up and put it away so it can never hurt me again. Is this healthy. Hell no. Will it make me happy? Most likely no. But I'll be able to function as a human being. 

You stole my heart but I had it first

Is it a bad thing that even though I'm not doing something"dangerous" like cutting I went to go get waxed and relished in the pain?

No words

My soul has once again died. Crying more than once in such quick succession is not normal for me. May I be recognizing the soul in which I thought I didn't have? Who knows. All I know is that I feel as if my soul has ben ripped out of me and I don't know if I can repair it myself this time.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Epic Bike Fail

So as I am biking home I'm going at a pretty decent speed as I come up on an intersection. Thinking that its 1am in the morning I don't need to slow down because there wouldn't be any cars out. So wrong. At the last minute I see a car about to hit the intersection at the same time I am. So I slam on the brakes which promptly vaulted me over my handle bars and landed me in a sandwich between my bike and the street. Such an epic fail. It almost made me think that I should get a helmet... almost.

p.s. Though scary, I thought it was fucking hilarious.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Wow, near the end already

So I need to play catch up on what's been going on in my life. But I seem to have no time. A lot of shit has been going down.

More to come soon.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Watchmen!!!!

So midnight screening of Watchmen is tonight. I have work so I'm in need of finding my own mode of transportation to KoP. If I'm lucky Chili's will be slow tonight and I leave mad early. If not that hopefully I'll get my mother to at least drive me up and I'll catch a ride back in either Mike's or Houstin's car. Regardless I'm excited.